Fair Haven church adopts Maasai woman
Parish supports mother's quest to spare daughters from genital mutilation
BY LINDA DeNICOLA
Staff Writer

Above: Mary, a Maasai woman from Kenya, wore her native dress while visiting in Fair Haven in June. Below: Little Silver resident Kim Ambrose, on left, related to Mary's plight because she, too, has three daughters, Kelsey, Chloe and Carli.

FAIR HAVEN -- Two months ago, parishioners at Christ Church United Methodist in Fair Haven knew little about the Maasai tribe in Kenya and even less about the Kenyan tribe's horrific practice of female genital mutilation (FGM).

But now, they know more than they ever wanted to know and have reached out to help a Maasai woman seek political asylum rather than have her daughters experience the life-threatening female genital cutting procedure.

"Before I met Mary, I thought that this practice had stopped," said Bonnie Hallowell, a Fair Haven resident and member of the church.

A human rights information packet on FGM, put out by Amnesty International, states that FGM causes severe pain as well as permanent physical harm and amounts to a violation of human rights, including the rights of the child, and can be regarded as persecution.

It is estimated that between 100 million and 140 million women in more than 28 countries have undergone some type of genital cutting and each year 3 million girls are forced to undergo the outdated practice.

Hallowell explained how the church found Mary and came to be involved in her plight.

"Mary came over to speak to the United Nations. Our former pastor, the Rev. Kathleen Stone, saw her in her African outfit on the train and asked her if she was from Africa. They talked for a while, and she invited Mary to come talk to our church."

During that Sunday morning service, Mary spoke to the congregation about what life was like for her in Kenya. According to Hallowell, she spoke about many things, but foremost on her mind was the practice of female genital mutilation, which conservatives within the Maasai tribe believe to be fundamental to being a true Maasai woman.

Mary told the congregation that most Maasai women have no choice but to follow this practice.

FGM continues despite international pressure and laws against it in Kenyan society, Hallowell said. "Mary, who speaks English quite well, told us that it had been done to her at the age of 12 with an unsterilized razor blade and how she almost died."

She told them that her eldest daughter was 11 now and if something isn't done, she will be forced to submit to the practice, Hallowell said, adding, "She cried and had everybody in the whole church crying."

Enter Kim Ambrose, a Fair Haven resident, captain of the Little Silver First Aid Squad and advocate for women. Ambrose related to Mary on a very personal level because she, too, has three young daughters.

"I would do anything in my power to not have my kids go through this," she said.

Being a women's advocate, a mother of daughters and a doer, she asked Mary what members of her church could do to make the practice end and spare her children.

"There has to be a way," she said, adding, "Can't we just mail the village elders money so they stop doing this?"

Mary replied that the only way to prevent it from being done to her daughters once they reach the age where they are about to go into eighth grade, is to take them out of the situation.

Pastor Stone, who had been working with the United Nations on women's issues, said that Mary's tribe in Kenya was experiencing many changes and losing many of their traditions.

"This is the last one to go," she told Ambrose.

Ambrose explained that in the process of talking to the United Nations, Mary met a woman from Maryland who knew a Kenyan woman living in California who had gotten asylum through an attorney there.

Mary decided that she had to go to California.

Ambrose and her church made it possible. Ambrose explained that she has a large list of e-mail contacts through her EMS work and through her work with the domestic violence program of 180 Turning Lives Around, so she broadcast an e-mail appeal and received many donations.

Hallowell noted that someone in the congregation donated frequent flier miles so Mary could get to Los Angeles, to meet with the woman who was helping another woman from the tribe.

They also raised money for Mary to go to a doctor in California, in order to prove that the procedure had been done to her.

Before Mary went off to California, Hallowell introduced her to some of the dubious wonders of Monmouth County.

"I spent a lot of time with her and took her to the mall and to the movie theater. She was terribly scared in the movie theater and clung to me so tight. She said it was so big. Someone else offered to take her on a sailboat, so we did that too. Again she was petrified."

Hallowell said Mary came here with very few clothes, so she gave her a pair of jeans and a shirt.

"I look like an American girl now," Mary said to Hallowell.

Ambrose noticed that Mary did not like the food here very well. She said the beef was not very good and the dairy is not that fresh. But, Ambrose said, "Mary is very sweet. She has a big heart. She's a very genuine person."

Hallowell said Mary wants to come back to New Jersey to live.

"We'll probably help her find housing," she said.

Ambrose keeps in touch with Mary, who has become an e-mail user. A couple of days ago, Ambrose received a thank you e-mail from Mary's husband. He said her family misses her very much.

Most of Mary's tribe speaks Swahili, Hallowell said, but Mary was one of a few fortunate women who was able to continue her education after age 9.

Although she can speak English, she's here alone and misses her husband and children very much.

"She came here with three other men from her tribe to speak at the United Nations. She thought she was just going to come here and talk at the U.N., but we encouraged her not to go back," she said.

Hallowell said Mary's husband is taking care of their children, which is something that is unheard of in her tribe.

While Mary is in California, she is hoping to learn how to take care of elderly people or babies. Then she could get a job, Hallowell said.

According to Hallowell, about three weeks ago, Mary called her to report some good news - the woman she is staying with is going to be able to bring her husband and children to the U.S.

Becoming involved with Mary and the issue of FGM has surprised and challenged Christ Church, and has surprised and challenged Mary.

Ambrose, who is the head of emergency relief in the church, said, "The practice of FGM is not something that can be stopped overnight. It will only stop after the oldest generation of tribe elders die, and the younger generation with educated views takes over.

"In that light, since we can't prevent it, we have to take the children out of the situation," she said. "The only way to do that is through asylum. If there is anything possible for us to do as human beings, now is the time, and we all need to step up to the plate and do as much as we can to help."

The new pastor appointed to Christ Church, the Rev. Eusun Kim, said, "This vital mission clearly demonstrates our congregation's ability to respond to God's call to love one another, with a tangible generous outpouring of love and support to a stranger in need."

If you would like to know more about this mission, or donate to the Mary fund, call Christ Church United Methodist in Fair Haven, (732) 741-0234 between the hours of 9 a.m. and noon. To make a donation, send a check made out to Christ Church United Methodist with the words Mary Fund written on the memo line and mail to Christ Church United Methodist, Box 301, Fair Haven, NJ 07704.