Little Silver community mourns loss of principal
Plans under way for tribute to popular educator
BY MELISSA KARSH Staff Writer
Grief counselors were dispatched to Markham Place School in Little Silver as well as other district schools last week to help students and teachers cope with the loss of the school's beloved Principal Don E. Merce.

MELISSA KARSH Flowers, sports jerseys and other mementos created a memorial at the base of a flagpole where a flag flew at half-staff following the death of Markham Place School Principal Don E. Merce.

Merce was killed in a May 6 car accident that occurred at 7:02 a.m. in the area of the east gate to Fort Monmouth in Oceanport, said Monmouth County First Assistant Prosecutor Peter Warshaw.

A candlelight vigil for Merce was held at the school on the evening of May 6 and the flag at the school remains at half-staff, a tribute to the fallen educator.

"He was part of the fabric of this whole community because he touched the lives of every child who went through the public school system over the past 18- plus years. We had a lot of kids who are graduated and long gone from the school system who came back for the vigil. There were a lot of people at the vigil; I think that was a testimony to how he touched everybody," said Markham Place School interim Principal Scott Taylor.

MELISSA KARSH One of several signs erected following Merce's death in an automobile accident reflects the school community's deep affection for the educator, who served as principal at Markham Place School for the past 19 years.

Taylor is also the supervisor of curriculum, instruction and technology at the fifth- through eighth-grade school.

"Our primary concern is making sure that the parents, the kids, the teachers are being supported with all their needs, and so that's really first and foremost on our minds right now," he said.

Merce, who was principal at the school for the past 19 years, was pronounced dead at 8:18 a.m. at Monmouth Medical Center in Long Branch, said Warshaw.

Merce, 58, of Oakhurst, was driving his Chevy Malibu, traveling northbound on Oceanport Avenue, when the collision occurred, said Warshaw.

Dennis Smentkowski, 42, of Tinton Falls, was operating a Ford Explorer, traveling in the southbound direction on Oceanport Avenue when the collision occurred, said Warshaw.

"The collision appears to have occurred entirely in the northbound lane and the circumstances surrounding the collision remain under investigation," said Warshaw.

He would not comment further on any of the collision dynamics, citing the ongoing investigation into the collision.

Warshaw said Smentkowski, a former Long Branch police officer, was also taken to an area hospital but would not comment on his current condition or reveal the name of the hospital he was taken to.

He did say that as of last week, Smentkowski was still hospitalized.

Smentkowski retired by way of a disability from the Long Branch police force after serving from March 1986 to July 1999, according to Long Branch Police Department Public Safety Director Bill Richards.

Funeral services for Merce were held at Thompson Memorial Home in Red Bank on May 10 at 10 a.m. A wake was held May 9 at the First Methodist Church in Oakhurst.

Parents, students and other community members continued to pay their respects to Merce on May 7 after the vigil.

A banner bearing the words "We Love You Mr. Merce" was signed by students and hung from the school's marquee and gifts were laid beneath the flagpole, which served as a makeshift memorial.

"He was an institution at the school itself. When you are here for so long and so involved in the community, it's hard to say there's any one thing that he was responsible for. He was responsible for a lot of things. There was just so many things about the program here that have his stamp on [them]," Taylor said of Merce's legacy at Markham Place.

Little Silver Superintendent of Schools Carolyn M. Kossack said in a letter to parents that she is formulating a committee to assist in the planning of a further tribute to Merce in the upcoming weeks.

"While we cannot commit to a specific date for the memorial at this time, parents who inquired about whether or not they would have the option of bringing their children to a memorial service rather than the funeral home can rest assured that a memorial service will take place in the weeks to come," Kossack wrote in a May 8 letter to parents.

The students at Markham Place School and around the district have been trying to cope with the loss of their beloved principal with the help of grief counselors from the Monmouth County Traumatic Loss Coalition for Youth.

The coalition is a predominantly volunteer organization that was developed with a state grant to be responsive to traumatic losses to kids in communities, said Monmouth County Coordinator Elliot Katz.

Katz said there is an equivalent organization in each county.

"We did send people to Markham Place and to Point Road School both to help the faculty and the kids … so when it was announced at the school, there were professional people there to help manage their grief," said Katz.

He added, "We go to any school district, agency or community group in Monmouth County when there's been a sudden loss that affects school-age children that we're asked to come to."

He said counselors were also dispatched to schools in Ocean Township, since Merce's wife works in that school system.

"For a lot of kids it is the first time that they are experiencing a loss of this magnitude," said Katz. "So it is just helping them to understand what they are feeling as they express it to us."

Katz said they tell the students that there is a biological component to grief and that their bodies may elicit a physical response to grief as well as an emotional one.

"Some of the kids felt like it doesn't feel right to be in school doing schoolwork. It felt disrespectful, not giving enough weight to the event that happened," said Katz. "We spoke [to them] about how just sitting around with time on their hands wouldn't have been better."

H

e said counselors spoke to students

about what they could do to express their appreciation to the person who has been lost.

"It's sometimes helpful for kids to do something good when something bad has happened," he added.

Katz said counselors were at the school all day and all evening on May

6, when the accident occurred, and

then all day the next day.

He said counselors would be available to those the school identifies

as needing more counseling.

"For children who've never

had anything like this happen,

it could really sort of

shake their world view," said Katz.

Merce is survived by his wife of 37 years, Bobbi; his children, Richard, Christian, Elizabeth and Meredith; a grandson, Aric; his sister, Susan, and brother-in-law, Jeff; a brother, David Warner, and sister-in-law, Carrie; his niece, Jenna; nephews Andrew and David; and his parents, Donald and Janet.

Merce was devoted to sharing his passion for history and the outdoors with all of his students. Many will recall with fondness trips to Thunder Mountain, Fairview Lake and the School of Conservation at Stokes State

Forest.

In lieu of flowers, the family

requests that memorial donations

be made in his memory to

the Don Merce Scholarship, Markham Place School, Markham

Place, Little Silver 07739.

The fund will be for his

children's education.